God has a funny way of teaching lessons in unexpected ways. My husband, Danny, and I have been through a series of unfortunate events since before we were married. It seems that just as we begin to catch our breath, we are forced under water again.
This past Thursday, we were running errands and I confessed my heart to Danny about my frustrations with his response to our grief. I am very affected by people’s emotions… especially their hurt. When my mom was going through chemo, I could hardly focus on what was in front of me because all I wanted was to be everything she needed at all times. Danny responds differently to hard times. He typically relies on me to relay information to him and, no matter how heartbreaking the situation, appears to be unaffected emotionally. I struggled to see how he could function typically when I’m a mess. Regardless, we had a productive conversation where we shared our perspectives and left with mutual understanding and ideas to be more empathetic to the hurting people around us, including each other.
The next day, We left our house around 8:30pm to get frozen yogurt. We got our treat and headed to the car as it started to rain. Danny started to drive us home when I remembered we had something in the car to deliver to a friend in the town 5 miles away. We continued on the highway in the left lane when Danny suddenly yells, “There’s a person lying in the road!” Before I could process what he said, he pulled the car over and was in a dead sprint toward the woman lying lifeless on the road. I looked through the rain splashing off the window as my husband ran into oncoming traffic screaming at this person who was destined to be hit by a car if left untouched. Danny got to the woman and frantically asked if she could hear him. He saw that she was completely unresponsive and rushed to the nearby intersection to direct traffic away from the young woman as others pulled over and rushed to her aide.
There’s a lot more to the story, but that night I witnessed my husband in a light I had not seen before. As I watched Danny sob over the death of this girl he didn’t know, I immediately ate my words from the night before. He ran into traffic with vehicles moving between 60-70 miles per hour in the dark & rain. No one was protecting him from getting hit. My man reacted on instinct… and his instinct is overwhelming compassion.
Through the overwhelming heartbreak of this loss of life, God opened my eyes to my husband’s true, humble, character. He revealed to me who this man I love is when he has no time to think. No time to consider the potential hurt he could endure. Danny risked his life that night with the intent of saving another. My hope for our future is that before I criticize my partner for life for not being the male version of myself, I would remember his unbelievable bravery and sacrifice. That I would see through his gentle demeanor and know there is a man full of compassion; awake & affected by our heartbreak.
May it not take another tragedy to open my eyes to my selfishness and see the extent of the amazing gift I have in a spouse. Please pray for the young woman’s family as they cope with their unexpected loss.
Love,
Sarah
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