In the blink of an eye, my husband and I have entered into a season of new beginnings. I truly thought we would never be done with our season of hurt and seemingly unending trial, but here we are. Standing in fresh air without a dark cloud in the sky.
I read this verse yesterday and it resonated with me completely:
“We went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.” Psalm 66:12
I am an extremely habitual person. I thrive in predictable environments and strict routines, so I am one that struggles deeply with transitions. I have never been good with change, including closing doors to seasons of life and anticipating the newness that awaits.
I am currently pregnant with our first baby and my husband and I moved to a new city where he has a new job. All things we have prayed for diligently over the last couple years with no sign that any of them would truly come to fruition. We watched as those close to us got their dream jobs and had their perfect babies while we were stuck in a hallway of closed doors. There were many times I would cry over my beautiful dreams and plans not going the way I imagined. It was heartbreaking to watch my husband apply for jobs, dream out loud about our life there, and then be told, “no”. It seemed like every area of our life was being told “no”…from our dream to move, have a family, work in a field my husband enjoys…And God took an abstract route, but He or his here. And if I wasn’t careful, I would see ourselves still stuck in the season God has graciously closed the door to. Every closed door has gotten us to now…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Transitioning into this season requires work, though. I have been so lost in the mindset of anticipating pain, that it’s tempting to let everything filter through that lens.The dangerous part of that is that you can always see pain if that’s what you’re looking for. I spent so much time trying to protect myself from the massive waves that consumed me, that I moved into our fresh season with my eyes squeezed shut…only to open them to calm seas. Beautiful water, breathtaking skies. A new season.
I find myself now celebrating our change of pace. I am (surprisingly) enjoying anticipating new relationships and a new routine. My mission now is to rest in God’s faithfulness and grace. Be thankful for the smooth transition and new mercies that greet me every morning. And avoid flinching at the sight of a wave on the horizon. I know there is goodness and beauty ahead.
Do you find yourself flinching because of past hurts? How has God redeemed your past and opened doors to peaceful living for you?
Love,
Sarah
Sharing Sarah 